Sending your loved one's for addiction treatment

Addiction is a family disease. Most of the time family kills lot of  time in taking decision about long term in-house treatment. Unlike other countries in India family can take decision  to admit addicts & mentally ill people by the help of law. If the patients can not take rational & helpful decisions for themselves family can take decision for them with the help of law. So if you are sending your loved once to rehab you should be aware about following things:

1. The stay in rehab will not be comfortable for both the patient & his family.

2. Patient may try some tricks to come out of rehab by giving false reasons like: food or hygiene etc. It is always good to see the place & discuss the facilities, treatment plan with the people in the centre.

3. Have trust: You need to have a trust on people who are there in rehabilitation centre, You must take regular feedback from people over there about patient.

4. Understand the process of treatment: If there is a family meetings or open sessions put more efforts to understand that how this can help your loved once.

5. Give all the possible information: Legal cases, health complications, behavioural abnormalities etc all information give in detail.

6. Do not send things like extra medications, gold chains etc. because patient may misuse them.

7. Stop enabling: Do not become obsessive or over anxious about the client even if he is not cooperating for therapy he is at least maintaining the abstinence.

8. discuss all the do's & don'ts with counsellor before discharge

9. Discuss the post discharge plan with therapists & take dates for follow up.

10. have a back up plan: Patient may relapse after the treatment also be aware about the fact & set a realistic back up plan. i.e. what you should do if he/she goes back to addiction. etc.

Remember Big Journey starts with small steps ............

Sheetal Bidkar

Why In-patient Treatment for addicts?

Nobody likes the confinement, we all love freedom. Addicts compare jails with in- patient treatment. However family also sometimes feels that outpatient treatment will be a better option but it eventually gets fail. An addict is pre-occupied with the thought of using substance it is difficult for him to participate in individual counselling sessions with this mind set, There are high chances of addict to use substances as a result of uncontrollable cravings. He may feel ashamed or guilty to go to therapist after drinking or using substance. An addict always gives first preference to his substance so adherence to outpatient treatment becomes challenging.  There are few rational for suggesting a in-house treatment for an addict; the reasons are as below:

1.     No access to substance: In a natural environment addict has open access to substances or alcohol. In-patient treatment automatically turns in to compulsive abstinence as rehabilitation caters doesn’t allow the patients to use any chemicals once they are admitted.  
  

2.     Structured routine: after detoxification, patients are supposed to follow the structured timetable in the rehab. It includes fixed timings for food, exercise, sleep etc. An active addict doesn’t have a structured day in natural environment. He sleeps whenever he wants or he don’t mind skipping food for days together which may worsen his health condition. 

  

3.     Peer help: In the rehabilitation units he gets the peer group like him who is also fighting with the addiction, the peer educators works as role model & he can get motivated.   

4.     Less deviation: patient is able to avoid the unnecessary deviations like meeting the using friends or responding somebody on phone or mails by being in the in-house treatment.

5.     Focus on self: Less deviation, good positive peer support, in puts by therapists allow the patients to focus on themselves and change their thoughts, attitudes towards substances. They will be able to put conscious efforts for bringing the desirable changes. 
  

6.     Under observation: While taking the in-patient treatments there counsellors, therapists, doctors are supposed to give a feedback, that means the patient will be under observation & he will get the right suggestions during the treatment. It saves lot of time & patient gets good directions to mould his behaviour.

7.     Helps to introspect: The suggestions, psycho education, peer feedback, etc helps the individual to introspect his behaviour & learn from the past mistakes.

8.     Managing cravings & triggers without substance: During the treatment patients learn that they can overcome the craving & stress & negative emotions without the substance; they learn the new coping mechanisms & become confident.  
    


     Sheetal Bidkar

Aggravating Factors

Why are you drinking & creating hell every time? 

Why can't you behave normally? You have spoiled my life & kids as well.

Why you are giving false promises? Cheating all the family members.

Harita was shouting on top of her voice when her husband came home drunk. She was shouting, crying & confronting him. He simply went into his room drank more. Next day she was waiting for him to get up & answer her questions.

With a hangover he got up & was sitting restlessly, she again started posting questions. This time he irritably answered that I drink because of you & your insulting behaviour towards me etc. She was astonished, hurt & confused. She called me for an appointment.

Harita came to her first counselling session. She was not able to understand that is she really responsible for her husband’s increased drinking?  Her husband accused her many times earlier but this time it was horrifying her to consider even for a while that she might be responsible for his drinking.

I allow her to talk & educated her about the disease of addiction. We even discussed about the things she can do to come out of present situations. She was talking about her uncontrolled emotions, her impulsive behaviour, suspicious thoughts, anxiety for future, fear for uncertainty etc. How she is getting affected by her husband’s behaviour she was narrating. Her enabling behaviour was very evident.

Her behaviour was a spontaneous reaction to her husband’s intoxicated behaviour. Most of the time she uses to change her decisions about hospitalization, taking him to AA or admission in rehabilitation centre. She is even become submissive & will become depressed about the situations. There is no consistency in her reactions. No one is able to understand this; what exactly the message she is willing to give to her husband about this drinking.

Many times she has threatened him that she will file a case against him, she will give divorce or she will put him in mental asylum etc. She never did any of this till now; rather day by day her husband started using this behaviour as a reason for his drinking.

Ignoring his manipulations, giving him chances, clearing all the damages which he is creating outside for supporting his addiction, saving him form legal cases or assaults by paying money etc will definitely become aggravating factor for addiction. As all this above mention activities eats lot of time & not allow the family or patient to reach to treatment centre. Meanwhile the risk of damages increases. The tolerance level increases, physical damages become visible. Love, social reputation, fear of damages i.e. job loss, loss of academic year, payment loss, denial of problem are the main reasons for family to postpone the treatment. By wasting the time they only experience the progression of disease & damages.

Family, well wishers, friends are supposed to support recovery & not drinking. Everyone has to keep in mind that no one can be a reason for drinking but avoid being an aggravating factor also; who may directly or indirectly help an addict to continue drinking.

Sheetal  

TO BE OR NOT TO BE: What is the best time to stop drinking?

How true: the above mention quote is really touching isn’t it?

Many of my patients has a confusion in their minds about the right time to quit the drinking. Most of them argue that they want to come out of addiction but not now. I always post them the following question

What is the best time to stop drinking? 

My Answer is

TODAY: Right Now 

No matter how you are physically & mentally? How much you drink? How much you lost as a result of your addiction or using; think about the following points. I am sure it will help you to take a decision.

You may ask why right now? My answer is as below:

1.     Before you get permanent damages:  Think about the gifts or assets of yours you can still preserve. Many addicts they die before they get message of recovery, many addicts they are still suffering but not able to get the message of recovery and many addicts meet with the serious accidents & permanently become handicapped. Before one get the permanent damage it’s wise to come in to recovery/ Stop drinking & using.

2.     No Boundary for recovery: Most of the recovering people expresses that they are leading healthy life physically & emotionally too. If we compare addiction with other serious diseases the fact will come out. The fact is all serious diseases have a boundary to recover; like once you develop heart disease you cannot work rigorously, your physical heath does not allow you to do certain heavy jobs - rigorous exercise, climbing mountains, working physically hard, taking stressful jobs, thrill seeking activities etc. Mental illness also requires continuous efforts & medication still the patients experience the boundary of recovery. Some of the tasks remain difficult or impossible for them- Multi tasking etc.

But with recovering addicts there is absolutely no boundary for recovery,

They can lead a very healthy life without any physical or mental health issues.  

3.     Enjoy recovery more than suffering: The earlier one comes to recovery the more he gets the time to enjoy the recovery. Life is for limited years one need to choose that he wants to spend in the suffering or he want to come out of that and enjoy sober life.

Life doesn’t wait for anyone.  In short, longer the person remains addicted the less time they will have to enjoy sobriety.

4.     Not to hurt more: Longer the person remains in addiction; more they will get hurt people by their behaviour. Soon an addict will lose family, friends, well wishers etc. Value the people you have.  

5.     To Be or Not to Be: Only decision is not enough for recovery one need to act according to the decision. Come out Of this mind set of to be and not to be, don’t kill more time by being confuse. Ask yourself real hard questions & be action oriented. Remember, Logically no one can justify addiction or using.

feel free to give your views

Sheetal 

Loving Someone in Recovery

Loving Someone in Recovery

A relationship conflict is a common thing with addicts. Hate rate, loss of trust, blame, emotional blackmailing, manipulative behaviour, aggression, and verbal abuse can be clearly seen in the family members & addicts. Even though the addict comes in to recovery, most of the families find it difficult to love someone in recovery. 

It’s difficult to forget the hurts given by the addict.

I would like to share my view on the same as family member of a recovering addict. I hope these suggestions will help everyone to make this journey easy.

1.     Living in Today:  Being anxious about relapse & slips doesn’t allow us to appreciate the recovering person’s today’s efforts to be clean. Many times sticking to the past memories of addiction life; make us biased & close minded. Thinking about today makes the life easy & focused.  

 

2.     Being clear about our stand: As addiction is known as relapse prone disease. It’s always better to have a backup plan for handling slip & relapse. Conditioning is the key of preserving the changes.

3.     Looking at a whole picture: Sometimes we just magnify current use & damages. It’s important to be solution orientated. It’s unfair to be selective focus on relapse or recovery. Think about the whole picture even in the good days.

4.     Understanding the disease: we can’t deny the fact that disease in nature is relapse prone. Remember your patient is not unique, he has a equal chance of being clean & the same time facing relapse. You can help the patient by providing motivating him, reminding him for follow ups or giving him feedbacks about his mood swings, reactions & emotions.  

5.     Enabling vs. Helping: If you want to help your loved once who are suffering with addiction then you should decide the right mode of help. Sometimes we become emotional & we try and hide the slip or relapse. Denying the fact just aggravates the disease. We need to think logically & should focus on long term benefit of client. Any action of yours should not directly or indirectly help the client to continue the substance use. Sometimes being hard or not listing to addict will help them to come in to recovery.

6.     We are also recovering: Going in to self pity, giving up hopes will not solve the problem. Despite of the failure or success of the recovering addict we should access & think about our own recovery also. Trying to control the addict, blaming the destiny, neglecting own health, neglecting children’s need & being preoccupied about relapse will adversely affect your mental health. Take help & attend al-non meeting for yourself. Take therapeutic help & learn positive coping mechanisms.

Misconceptions about Addiction

The good news is that addiction is a treatable disease. With treatment and support, everyone can counteract the destructive effects of addiction and regain control of his life, but unfortunately most of the time we hear inappropriate & misguiding beliefs about the causes and treatment of addiction. It increases confusion.

 

3 most dangerous misconceptions about Addiction

Overcoming addiction is simply a matter of willpower. You can stop using drugs if you really want to. Prolonged exposure to drugs alters the brain in ways that result in powerful cravings and a compulsion to use. These brain changes make it extremely difficult to quit by sheer force of will.

Addiction is a disease; there’s nothing you can do about it. Most experts agree that addiction is a disease, but that doesn’t mean you’re a helpless victim. It is treatable with physical & psychological treatment

Treatment didn’t work before, so there’s no point trying again; some cases are hopeless. Recovery from drug addiction is a long process that often involves setbacks. Relapse doesn’t mean that treatment has failed. Rather, it’s a signal to get back on track, either by going back to treatment or adjusting the treatment approach.

SHEETAL 

Addiction Counsellor 

Pin your ears back

Pin your ears back 

The effects of addiction not only affect the person who abuses but it slowly starts affecting the family members as well. This article is for those who are caretakers or relatives of active addicts.  We needs to understand one thing about addict is , he is either preoccupied with the thought of using or completely under the influence of drug or substance 24 hours a day & likewise we as family members are thinking about substance abuse constantly, for example how much he will spend for drug/ alcohol today?  How can I control his using? What will be the affect effect? Why my loved one is like this?  All the focus or energy of ours (family members) is accumulated around the thought of substance use. We become sick.  We become suspicious about each movement addict. Many times we act very irrational like hiding bottles, confronting addict’s friends, locking the addict in room etc.

Here are some do’s & don’ts for you.

If you suspect that a friend or family member has an addiction problem, then

Speak up. Talk to the person about your concerns, and offer your help and support. The earlier addiction is treated, the better. Don’t wait for your loved one to hit rock bottom! Be prepared for excuses and denial with specific examples of behaviour that has you worried

Take care of yourself. Do not get so caught up in someone else’s addiction problem that you neglect your own needs. Make sure you have people you can talk to and lean on for support. And stay safe. Don’t put yourself in dangerous situations like blaming own self for situations or thoughts of suicide.

Avoid self-blame. You can support a person with a substance abuse problem and encourage treatment, but you can’t force an addict to change. You can’t control your loved one’s decisions. Let the person accept responsibility for his or her actions, an essential step along the way to recovery for drug addiction. 

What Not To Do

ü  Don't attempt to punish, threaten.

ü  Don't try to be a martyr. Avoid emotional appeals that may only increase feelings of guilt and the compulsion to use drugs.

ü  Don't cover up or make excuses for the drug abuser, or shield them from the negative consequences of their behaviour.

ü  Don't take over their responsibilities, leaving them with no sense of importance or dignity.

ü  Don't hide or throw out drugs.

ü  Don't argue with the person when they are high.