Digital Parenting

It is often expressed by the parents that handling a child in a digital era is very difficult. Education, entertainment, social connections and even shopping is dependent on digital devices. We cannot deny that the use of internet has indeed made our lives easy but at the same time excessive use of it is showing its side effects as well. Most of us found that our kids on smartphones, tabs, laptops, are using some screen time to engage themselves. You might feel that your child is just physically present with you but he is preoccupied with sharing, watching something, posting on social media and/or taking selfie. Eye contact while conversing with you, mindfulness while eating, and emotional involvement with the celebrations has now become  rare to find. It is a very scary thought for a parent to not have any control over what information is influencing their child's mind, what kind of people he is engaging with on social media, how productive are these long chats with friends and finally what is the child watching on internet. Many parents report that they feel helpless, anxious and even irritable about this. Let’s understand this dynamic concept in detail.

Who is a Digital Parent?

One who either uses one or multiple digital platforms with their child as a parent can be classified as a digital parent. It can be giving instructions via WhatsApp or monitoring their child by video call, or following their child on social media sites. These are all the forms that allow parents to connect, engage, monitor and finally shape their kids as parents. It is important for us to learn the new ways of parenting in digital era. We can appropriately call it as digital parenting.

Significance of Digital parenting.

At young age our kids are making many decisions about devices, games, apps they use and so on. Today there are many apps different purposes like for potty training and study skills videos, subject learning and study, cooking and day to day needs. As a result, we as parent and every child is being attracted to use it often.

Even before reaching to pre-schools kids are able to access the videos and songs. Schools these days use the electronic educational aids, today blackboard is missing and the projector has taken its place. Even homework and instructions are being circulated by using the internet. Most of the parents do not attend parent teacher meet or the cultural activities of their children as they prefer to wave hand by accessing the video call and cheer the kid by sitting in their AC offices. The kids are growing seeing the parents giving more importance to smartphones than them.

And just when you’ve mastered all that, the teen years come along with the onslaught of prominent social media and social networking sites and other anonymous apps. Problematic issues arise that range from sexting and cyberbullying to identifying theft and simply spending too much time online. 

Why is this dangerous:

A)   Smartphones & internet use killing productive Time: Child can learn & enjoy something productive instead of just scrolling the screen for hours. Children & adults don’t even realise that the productive working hours are being wasting time on daily basis. Time management has become so difficult because of excessive use of internet.

B)    Cyber Bullying: Social media has become a new platform for bullying. Comments on posts, making fun of their photos, criticism on social media handle is bothering the kids. Parents may not be aware of what the child is actually facing.

C)   Sexting & Watching Porn: Many teenagers, Adults start interacting with people by chatting and eventually they land up sexting each other. Sometimes these children through general research may accidentally click on some pop ups and advertises which may lead them to adult sites. Smartphones and internet availability has also increased viewership of porn videos by 134% in the last one year.

D)   Online Gambling & availability of illegal substances: Shopping online is very comfortable as it provides the door step service but few of us are getting hooked with the dealers who are selling illegal drugs & some are also experimenting with gambling which is extremely addictive and can cause bankruptcy along with psychological stress, job loss, family dysfunction etc.

What can a parent to do?

At Suasth One Step Clinic, we tried to distil many years of work in this constantly changing space to seven simple, but challenging steps to become a good digital parent.  It is definitely a journey, like parenting itself.  And there is no such thing as perfection.

Family Online Safety institute has suggested the 7 Step prog as below:  

1.  Talk with your kids 

It sounds simple, but the number one indicator of good digital parenting is keeping an open line of communication going with your kids.  Talk early and often.  It is not like the birds and the bee’s discussion.  It is more like an ongoing dialogue that will move and shift as your child works his/her way through several key developmental stages.  Stay calm.  Be open and direct.  But keep talking. 

2.  Educate yourself

This is probably the first technology in human history where the children are leading the adults.  It is very humbling to have a seven year old explain how to upload a video.  Or your teen rolling his eyes once again as you try to master Pandora.  But there is a wealth of tips, videos, explanations and guides out there.  If in doubt, simply type in your question or concern in your favourite search engine and there will be more than enough information available to you.

3.  Use parental controls

It goes without saying that there is content on the Internet you don’t want your kids stumbling upon.  All of the major operating systems, search engines, cell phone providers and gaming platforms provide either free or inexpensive parental controls to help you manage your kids online experience.  And, as your kids get older, move from controls to monitoring tools, particularly around time limits to discourage texting in class or vamping late at night. 

4.  Set ground rules & apply sanctions 

Many parents don’t know where to start in creating rules of the road for their children’s digital use.  But there are many online safety contracts to choose from as well as simple house rules such as NO DEVICES at dinner and handing in their phones at night.  Once you’ve set the rules, enforce them.  Let your kids know that they will lose online privileges if they break the rules and be clear and consistent about what those sanctions will be.

5.  Friend and follow, but don’t stalk

When your teen opens her social media account at 13, ensure you’re his/her first friend.  Follow your kids on their social handle and other social media and social networking platforms.  Don’t overdo it and leave daily comments, but don’t under do it either.  It’s a good idea to stay close as your teen makes his/ her first foray into the world of social media.  But don’t be tempted to spy on your kids, either.  Talking instead than stalking is what builds trust.  Give your teen some space to experiment, to take (healthy) risks and to build resiliency. 

6.  Explore, share and celebrate!

With the rules and tools in place, don’t forget to just go online with your kids.  Play games, watch videos, share photos and generally hang out with your children online.  Learn from them and have fun.   Share your favourite sites and download their apps.  See the world through their eyes.  And let them know your values and beliefs as you guide them on their way. 

7.  Be a good digital role model 

Be the change you want to see in your kids.  Resist the temptation to pull out your phone to check your email over dinner or send a quick text while driving.  Keep an eye on your own digital habits and compulsions and model good digital behaviour and balance.  Your kids will pay far more attention to what you do, than to what you say – both online and offline.