LIFE DOES NOT REWIND

LIFE DOES NOT REWIND

In one of the interviews, an anchor happens to ask me, the most memorable cases I handled in my practice.  Four different cases were coming into my mind again & again.

A widow 32 yrs old came to my clinic as she was abusing prescription drugs from last 6 months. She lost her 20 months old child & husband in a fire accident & she became depressed after this traumatic incidence. She was in U.S.A for 7 yrs after her marriage. Her husband was a chronic alcoholic. Immediately after her marriage she recognized the fact. Under the influence, he uses to be very abusive, aggressive.  Whenever she complained about his behaviour her family & in-laws use to ask her, ‘Who doesn’t drink in U.S.A?, it’s ok, get adjusted , etc’ She lost the hope of getting help from relatives  as her husband was ill-treating everyone. Many times he has put their life in risk, i.e. driving a four-wheeler with almost 140km/hr under intoxicated phase, not attending the child even when he needs medical attention, being the furious & threatening wife for money to drink etc .

The fire accident happened because her husband was intoxicated & was smoking in the bathroom. He was insisting that he help play with his son in a bath tub, she was refusing but he was very irritable & was not listening to wife. He ordered her to prepare some food for him. As he was drunk he was unable to handle a child, the child was excited & was running here & there in the bathroom, pulling things down & started playing with it, he was trying to do something with the geyser & fire cached. By seeing  father into a fire the child just went & catch him. The child died on the spot & 98% burned husband was in ICU for 2 hours & he also died.

She came back to India at her parent’s place & she was blaming herself for the accident, she was cursing herself for not being farm to protect the child.

But.................Life doesn’t rewind.

Case 2:

A very young 19 yrs old boy was socially drinking with his friends. He was very intelligent, goal oriented boy & was willing to join navy after his 12^th. One day he went to an overnight party. Somebody had introduced injective drug. He decided to taste it just once; he used the drug for the first time. After almost 4 moths he was frequently suffering from the fever, cold, he lost weight. Doctors asked him to test HIV. He was infected with HIV. He was then never being able to go to navy or similar services as he was not physically fit. All his dreams were shattered, he was repenting on his decision to taste the drug but it was too late.

Life doesn’t rewind.

Case 3:

40-year-old recovering alcoholic was hunting for small scale jobs from 6-8 months. On the everyday basis, he was struggling to gel with the outside completion. Almost after 18 yrs of alcoholism he was trying to understand the world consciously. The facts were terrifying that market needs multi-skilled people & even peons are graduates.

He was learning computer, willing to continue distance education but soon he learns that his physical health is not supporting him thus he has to do things slowly but steadily. He remembered those years when he was young but was wasting all his time, energy & money in using alcohol & tobacco. He remembers his well-wishers who use to warn him & suggested rather requested him to be productive. 

But life doesn’t rewind.

Case 4:

An artist was hooked to ganja & was thinking that ganja improves his creativity. He was a very good painter. Under influence one day he met with an accident, he was seriously injured his right hand has was completely damaged. Doctor has to take the decision to cut his hand from elbow to save his life. He was bed ridden & was not able to sit for almost 2 years. Money, popularity, advanced science, Modern facilities, supportive parents none of this were able to bring back his skilful hand.

his art, skills, creativity became past for him.

Then he realizes that .......... Life does not rewind.

All the four cases express the curial reality of ill effects addiction. isn't it?

Sheetal Bidkar

Being Myself

Being Myself

Hello Friends!

I am sheetal Bidkar, clinical psychologist working in the field of substance abuse since 2009. I decided to start my blog because wherever I got a chance to go & talk about the disease of addiction I was amazed to know that the society which I am living in is full of with hope.

Everywhere people were posting questions & they were looking forward for answers to their questions. I spent 40 min to 90 min of time in just answering there questions. I realize after doing almost fifty & more awareness programs that people are not having appropriate information about the nature of disease & treatment part.

Not only general public but also the professionals had to get appropriate information. When we conducted the seminars, workshop for Doctors, nurses, counsellors & psychologists unfortunately only 3% of them could pass the pre-test. It means the people who are the primary care givers to the general public are unaware about primary information of disease of addiction.

Last many years I have seen that patients was suffering almost  more than two years as his physician was experimenting with anti craving mediations with the patient without understanding of the chronicity; further he was misguiding him by telling to drink in control way to avoid withdrawals like tremors in hand, vomiting, hallucinations etc.  

Depressive fact in India is, Psychiatrists are admitting addicts & after detoxification of 3 to 10 days they simply ask family to take discharge. Most of them know that the therapy & counselling is required but the commercial approach doesn’t allow them to guide further or as psychiatrists they themselves are not convinced that the therapeutic help may decrease the risk of relapse.

However, I learn that the families these days are at least want to do their homework before getting admitted into rehabilitation centres. The young addicts also want to use internet to get the appropriate information about treatment. Thus I would like to address main concerned issues related to addiction, addiction treatment & recovery. I will also share my experiences during the practice, unique cases, therapies, my thoughts & feelings!

My goal is to offer significant contribution towards ADDICTION FREE SOCIETY.

I sure this blog will help me to reach to my goal.

Sheetal Bidkar

A message of Hope

                                          New Thoughts & New Wings

On the occasion of Anti Dug Day we have conducted a poster competition, Talk show & interactive session with the student in the college. It was really a great experience to understand the new thoughts & new solutions for the addiction related problems. 

Before interacting with the students I was thinking that, 'will they be open to talk? how should I break the ice?' I was thinking about stigma among the recovering addicts. To my surprise the hall was full with 300+ students, Most of them were well aware about the names & ill effects of almost all the drugs. 

What I found interested is they all were thinking about the new ways to deal with the disease of addiction. The bookish theory of acceptance says denial is the first phase of acceptance but these people were exception for that. Our discussion with them brought up new perception & ideas which somebody is rarely aware in India.

All the solutions which we come up with is naturally focusing Indian culture & present phenomena.  

However the most interesting things which came up after the talk show was as below: 

1.     There should be awareness & orientation about the disease of addiction in high schools.

2.     There should safe homes in each school, so that an addict will get the help at earliest 

3.     Each Govt officer should undergo the training which will help them to indentify an addict & provide the right help.

4.     All the industries must implement the employee assessment program (EAP).

5.     Legal information about the criminal cases, accidents etc should be assessable to employers so that the preventive measures can be provided. It should be used for relapse prevention.

6.     Every school, college, hospital, industries has to appoint the peer educator who can build up a rapport to the individual & his family who are suffering with addiction. 

7.     Driving licence should get renew after every 3 years considering the accidents under influences.

8.     Paramedical students, HR staff, Teachers, Professors, Supervisors should have 6 to 8 months internship for assessment, referral services & primary counselling. With this we can provide the treatment in abuse phase itself & can prevent the damage to happen.

9.     There should be research unit for addiction treatment & high risk among the addicts.

10. The De-addiction & rehabilitation centres should have one common protocol to follow.

Would you like to add something? I will be happy to get suggestions from you.

Sheetal  Bidkar

'Nothing better to do?'

My Grandmother passed away on 1st April 2014.

I would like to share her views about my job as an 'addiction counsellor'. 

I got selected as an addiction counsellor in a well known Drug de-addiction centre. I was single & just 25yrs old.  I was excited and happy. I called up my grand mum & shared my happiness as usual.

She was curious about the job profile. I started explaining to her that I am going to counsel people with substance abuse.

She took a long pause and replied, ‘hummm, nothing better to do?’ she further added, ‘You are an intelligent, kind & sensitive person, I have a concern why are you wasting your talent for drunkards? Waste fellows they never bother about their parents & family, why will they bother you? & counselling?’

She was afraid & anxious about the violence, abusive language, suspiciousness which my patients going to exhibit. She was explaining every black part of alcoholic’s life.

She was sharing many addicts she came across & moreover she was worried how can single & just 25 yrs old women will be able to handle the nastiest male population. She was extremely unhappy about my decision to join this job.

Her views about addicts are like any other lay man. I learnt & decided to spread the real picture about the disease, treatment & recovery.

Two months later, I requested her to come to my rehabilitation centre, she spoke with my HR head, Admin head, & many other people in the office. I asked her, how do you find them? She was happy & appreciating the hospitality & humbleness of everyone.

Then I revealed Most of them are on the path of recovery. They are ex-addicts. She was astonished. She said, ‘You are doing a great job, God bless you n people in recovery. You & your team is giving life to many needy families’ She hugged me, she was feeling pride about my work. Then onward she was one of the strongest support systems for me.

Till today whenever people enquired about my job profile; before replying anything  I immediately remember my grandmother’s dialogue, 

‘Nothing better to do???????’   

Being Myself

Welcome Friends,

My name is Sheetal Bidkar & I am a psychologist. I am working with people suffering with substance abuse. In other words; those who are addicted or hooked to alcohol, drugs, gambling etc From last eight years I observe clients, their families, recovering people & therapist involved in this area.

After the completion of Master degree in clinical psychology; I use to think that awareness about the nature of disease, treatment & remedial methods may help many people with chronic mental illnesses. This belief became stronger during two years of M.Phil psychology. As I started working I experience the same.

EYE OPENING INTERVIEW:

During the research work; I came across the relapse patient. A chronic alcoholic & drug addict who was fully aware about his disease, treatment options & remedial therapies.

He said, ‘I know I can stop drugs but the challenge is staying stopped.’

I got surprised that all these things were not helping this young person to recover. He was in need of something more which could help him in staying stopped.

He was introducing himself as an addict; he was talking about all the treatment centres & therapies he underwent etc

I was thinking deep inside that if he is aware about everything then why he is still suffering?

I decided to find out the answer for this. My journey towards understanding the addiction started from that day.  

I started interviewing patients with substance abuse disorder. Every patient gave a different shade of this illness.  I have observed the hopelessness, frustration, and defeat within the recovering people. I have seen the many manipulative features of the disease of addiction. I have heard peoples pain.

My clients were telling more than the books, the journals I studied.

Eventually I started interviewing wives of addicts. I learned lot of issues which were missing in textbooks. Real life experiences made me aware about the families’ sufferings.  I got another opportunity to study the disease of co-dependency. Children of alcoholics reveal the countless queries about the disease of addiction. It was hard to empathize with the children who brought up seeing their parents in addiction. Their emotional world was full with unhealed wounds. Most of them were also hunting for the relief & someone who could allow catharsis. The active listeners who can empathize with their pain, insecurity, guilt, hate rate & shame.

Today, many of my patients were on the path of recovery. They are drug-free. They are enjoying drug-free life. They are helping themselves. At the same time few of them are still struggling with the disease. Sometimes they are away from the obsessive use of chemicals but sometimes they relapse. However, the desire to recover is not enough. I feel each one of them should get equipped for staying stopped.  

Whenever I discharged patient my mind asks me........

Will he be able to stay stopped?

SHEETAL BIDKAR

Psychologist

Addiction Counselling & Rehabilitation centre

NOTE:- I would like share my experience & observations which made me/compelled me studying addiction closely. All that I will express is my view & opinions on different subjects. I request all the visitors to share their view & opinions as well. I will be happy to learn from all my friends & well-wishers. Feel free to share your thoughts on this blog.