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Monday, 30 November 2015

Self deception part 1: Denial


When it comes to addiction treatment; therapists, clients, and families they defiantly discuss denial as an important aspect. There is a lot of literature available on Denial.

Here we will try and understand denial as a self-deception tenancy. My post on deadly D's has an explanation on self-deception. In short, self-deception is something which prohibits the recognition and acceptance of the disease and the negative consequences. Denial is the first part of self-deception which always help the addict to be in illusion that nothing to worry..... I can stop using anytime....... or I can control my using...... I know there is nothing wrong if I drink or use....etc.

Eventually, addicts come across the negative consequences but their denial never allows them to see the reality. E.g. few addicts justify drinking saying that limited amount of drinking is good for the heart, good for xyz....etc but they fail to understand that when liver report clearly indicates the dysfunction due to the excessive, harmful use of a substance. They still stick to the selective information which supports the using. 

DENIAL IS REFUSING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE HARMFUL CONSEQUENCES OF ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE.

What I observed during my practice so far is we can make few categories according to the responses of various addicts which shows the patterns of denial.
1. Denial by defining the problem
2. Denial by blaming or by creating problems with external factors.
3. Denial by minimization.

Let me explain all three points elaborately.

1. DENIAL by defining the problem: addicts feel that if they can give strong reason to use no one will blame them. The other type is kept on proving people that they are functional and able to achieve something.
Like this kind of people, they say that 'look! I have a good job I am earning then how can I be an alcoholic or addict?'
My doctor only prescribed me those pills.... so I am using them.... how can I be an addict then.
But the reality is they fail to see the whole picture. They overlook the other evidence such as the withdrawals, preoccupation, cravings, family conflicts due to use, accidents under influence, fail to cut down or stop using.

2. DENIAL by Blaming or by creating problems with external factors: Most of the addicts throw the blame on external factors. they mention rather justifies that how other people and their behavior is only causing the problem. This kind of addicts may mention job pressures as the reason for alcohol/drug use. they may mention that they drink because of critical wife, physical pain, someone is trying to corner etc. 

They look at the substance as a remedial part but they fail to understand that abusing alcohol or substance is putting them again into a problem rather aggravating the problem instead of solving them. Eventually, they create new problems for them. E.g; if one keep on blaming that wife is a reason for drinking; in turn, he makes his relationship more stressful with a wife. He never puts any efforts to talk about how is he getting affected by his wife's behavior or never makes an effort to openly talk to her. after some period he faces separation. then he again starts drinking more saying that his wife left him. 

3. DENIAL by minimizing: To avoid the confrontation many times addicts stops defending themselves but in such situations, they opt for minimizing the amount they use and also minimizing the harmful consequences they face so far. 

this kind of people they say ...... yes! I drink.... BUTTTT no as much as you think... Just 2 pegs... 
No...believe me! my accidents were not under influence. I do drink but its not as bad as XYZ. 


Eventually, addicts get confronted with harmful consequences. that point they are unable to deny the use &/or negative consequences of addiction. However, the story doesn't end here. 


Unknowingly, once denial stops working they go to the next level of self-deception. 
To know more read my next article.... 

SHEETAL BIDKAR











Saturday, 22 November 2014

Slogans of Strength


I feel that people need to search some or the other tool for self-motivation during the recovery. In early abstinence people face a lot of challenges, the risk of losing the zeal of hopeful life is high in this period. I found old timers in AA always use the slogans. here I am sharing the few which I use to motivate my clients who want to walk the path of recovery. I must honestly confess at these slogans have given me a positive energy during the difficult times of my life. 

Note: All the slogans are from the AA literature. I use till and found them very useful so I am sharing them with all of you.

  1. easy does it
  2. first things first
  3. live and let live
  4. think......think.......think
  5. one day at a time
  6. let go and let God
  7.  kiss---keep it simple stupid
  8. this too shall pass
  9. "Be nice to sponsees they might be your sponsor some day"
  10. expect miracles
  11.  stick with the winners
  12. sobriety is a journey ..........not a destination
  13.  poor me.....poor me............pour me another drink
  14.  live in the NOW
  15.  turn it over
  16. aa=altered attitudes
  17. be part of the solution, not the problem
  18.  no pain.........no gain
  19. go for it
  20. do it sober
  21.  let it begin with me
  22.  just for today
  23. pass it on
  24. don't quit 5 minutes before the miracle happens
  25.  practice an attitude of gratitude
  26.  god is never late
  27.   90 meetings in 90 days.........90/90
  28. you are not alone
  29. use the 24-hour plan
  30. stay sober for yourself
  31. First drink does the damage
  32. when all else fails, follow directions
  33. change is a process, not an event
  34.  call your sponsor before, not after, you take the first drink
  35.  sick and tired of being sick and tired
  36.  it's the first drink that gets you drunk
  37. what if........
  38.  help is only a phone call away
  39. around AA or in AA?
  40.   K.C.B. --- keep coming back
  41. courage to change
  42. easy does it, but do it
  43. if I think, I won't drink. if I drink, I can't think
  44. get it ---give it---grow in it
  45.   principles before personalities
  46. to be forgiven we must forgive 

Sheetal 



Thursday, 30 October 2014

काय झाले?

काय झाले?

मागच्या एका वर्षभरात १७ ते २५ वयोगटातले अनेक व्यसनी रुग्णांशी संपर्क आला. त्यासर्वांमधे एक समाइक असा बेफिकीरपणा दिसला, त्यांनी त्याचे आयुष्यातील गंभीर अडचणी किती क्षुद्र असल्यासारख्या मांडल्या आहेत; यावरूनच त्यांचा जीवनकडे पाहण्याचा दृष्टिकोन दिसून येतो। हे सगळे खरच मनाला सुन्न करणार आहे.


मी जरा फिरलो कॉलेजच्या बाहेर
तर कल्ला करायला काय  झाले ?
मी जरा गेलो पार्टीला तिकडे
तर बिघडला म्हणायला काय झाले ?


अरे बाबा! सगळेच जातात गोव्याला प्यायला
तुम्हाला लगेच चिडायला के झाले ?
राहिला बैक लॉक इंजीनियरिंगला
तर वाया गेलो म्हणायला काय  झाले?


जरा कुठे मनेवर टट्टो काढला
तर गंजेड़ी म्हणायला काय झाले?
बसलो जरा मैत्रिणीच्या कड़े  डिनरला
तर  बायको म्हणायला काय  झाले?

बुडले पाच-एक हजार पैज लावून
तर कर्जबाजारी म्हणायला काय झाले?
मागितले मित्राला लाखभर रुपये
तर कर्ज केले म्हणायला के झाल?

हो हो येतोच कंटाळा घरी राहायचा
दोन दिवस न सांगता गेलो फिरायला
तर शेफारला म्हणायला काय झाल?

अहो होतोय ना त्रास माझ्यामुळे
मग सोडून द्या मला एकट
नाक कापल म्हणून हिनवायला  काय  झाल?

जमत नाही ना माझ तुमच्याशी???(अगदी उद्धट स्वरात )
मग करू वाटा वेगवेगळ्या
तुझ्या काळजीन जीव चालला म्हणायला काय झाल?

आयुष्य खुप सोप्प आहे
फायद्याच्या गणितच फळ आहे.
मर्जीच राजकारण खेळातच जवानी जगण आहे
नाहीतर.... नको नकोस ओझ आहे
नाहीतर.... नको नकोस ओझ आहे

Tuesday, 30 September 2014

वेदना




विवाह समुपदेशन हा व्यसनमुक्ती उपचाराचा एक अत्यंत महत्वाचा भाग आहे. अशाच एक सत्रात एका रुग्णमित्राच्या भावना कशा बदलत गेल्या त्याची ही कथा. आधी तो आला आणि तिचा अंदाज घेण्याचा प्रयत्न केला, मग थोड़ा राग आणि तिरस्कार दाखवला आणि सरतेशेवटी तो पुरता अंतर्मुख झाला।






वेदना


ती डोळ्यात आशांची आसवे घेवून बसली होती 
न रहवून माझ्या चांगुल पणाची कड घेतच होती 
भला होतो म्हणे मी लग्नाच्या वेळी 
मोडित काढला संसार म्हणे मी तिचा याच दारूपाई। …… 

खरच। ……… का हे खर आहे?
आजार मला आणि वेदना तिला आहे 

मला वाटायच। …  मीच ना पितो?
मग त्रास तिला का बर होतो ?


आज ती खर बोलली 
तिची वेदना डोळ्यातून वाहीली 
कितीदातरी मी  तिला मारल
संसार वाचवायचा म्हणुन 
हरबार तिन कटु बाजूला सारल 

मला कळलच नाही तिन कित्येकदा असच सावरल 
माझ्या चुकांचे चटके सहन करून 
माझी काळजी कारण कस तिन पेलल?
माझी काळजी कारण कस तिन पेलल?


शीतल बिड़कर 

Monday, 29 September 2014

Breaking the behavioural CYCLE


We are responsible for our behavior. It is true that social, psychological & environmental pressures may influenced ones drinking/using behavior. In order to make a change one need to categorized these pressures.
i. Pressures come form others
ii. Pressures come from within ourselves.
iii. Pressures come from environment

People in addiction complains that they want to change but other people & environmental things pulled them back to substance abuse. As I mentioned earlier we will discuss the above mention pressures  one by one.

I. Pressures come from others: in many communities takings alcohol in social gatherings is very common.  This gathering is an external factor which can pull the individual in a risky situation. Social acceptance may influence how much we drink, what we drink, it may also effect the place and time one may opt for drinking. Social pressures also influence the attitude and perception towards alcohol use.

I I. Pressures comes from within ourselves: alcohol, drugs alter our mood one may use it as a coping mechanism. The unhealthy coping mechanism eventually doesn't work and people get confronted with the real harsh consequences of their choices.  Fears, insecurities, resentments and other negative feelings aggregate the intensity of the discomfort and people feels that substance may help them to handle these discomforts.  Our pattern of conditioning our behavior and beliefs definitely influences the acceptance of substances.

III. Pressures come from the environment: availability of substance, peer influence, weather conditions are examples of environmental factors which may influence the decision of substance use.


In order to break the behaviour cycle one needed to use new behaviours for dealing with social and psychological pressures.  Some suggestions are as below.

1. An aviod situation which you feel you may not be able to handle.
2. Plan your reactions to handling peer pressure.
3. Learning new coping mechanisms.
4. If the stress or tension is chronic then seek professional advice.
5. Know your triggers and plan for healthy precautions.
6. Find the positive, healthy alternative activities.
7. Socialisation with self help group members will be very useful.
8. Taking efforts to understand the exact nature of the disease will help us to set some do's and don'ts for ourselves.

Practicing new behaviours will lead to develop healthy behaviour cycle.


Sheetal

Friday, 5 September 2014

थांबून रहाणे : व्यसनमुक्तीमधील आव्हान


जगभरामधे व्यसनमुक्ती उपचारापुढील सर्वात मोठे आव्हान म्हणजे रुग्णांनी उपचारानंतर  पुन्हा व्यसनाकडे न वळणे। नशा करणे थांबवणे या ही पेक्षा अधिक नशा न करता थांबून रहाणे हे खुप मोठे आव्हान आहे. अनेकदा रुग्णमित्र सांगतात की मला वाटल की मी थांबवू शकतो, दारू बंद करणे हा काही खूप कठीण विषय नाही। पण गंमत अशी की थांबवलेली दारू पुन्हा दबक्या पाउलाने कधी पूर्णतः परत गुरफटून टाकते हे मात्र कधीच कळत नाही।

अशावेळी अस वाटत की व्यसनमुक्ती साठी 'थांबून रहाणे ' हेच धेय ठेवले पाहिजे। व्यसनाचा रोग हा पुन्हा पुन्हा उलटणारा रोग आहे, रुग्ण काही काळ व्यसनाशिवाय राहतो आणि पुन्हा पूर्वी प्रमाणेच व्यसन करू लागतो। थांबून राहण्यामधे काही खालील अडथळे येतात।

१. व्यसनमुक्तीची प्रेरणा टिकून न रहाणे: नशा बंद करणे का ठरवले? यामागची प्रेरणा सातत्याने टिकून राहत नाही। शारिरिक परिस्थितीत सुधार होताच पूर्णतः व्यसनमुक्त  होण्याची गरज जणू नष्ट होते। आपण आजारी आहोत या गोष्टीचा स्वीकार करणे कठीण होऊ लागते। काहीवेळा नुकसानाची तीव्रता कमी होते जसे:  कामावरून कमी केल्यानंतर नवीन ठिकाणी काम मिळते, भांडून गेलेली बायको परत येते वगैरे मग अशावेळी रुग्णमित्राला असे वाटू लागते की व्यसनाचे दुष्परिणाम तो हाताळू शकतो। तो या दुश्परिणामांना आळा घालण्याचा प्रयत्न करतो। 

२. रोगमुक्तीच्या काळातील मानसिक तणाव: काही वेळा व्यसनादरम्यान झालेल्या नुकसानाचे पडसाद पुढे अधिक काळपर्यंत दिसून येतो। जसे स्वतःस माफ न करता येणे, झालेल्या नुकसानासाठी स्वतःस दोषी ठरवणे, पूर्वी व्यसनाच्या काळातील गुन्ह्यासाठी न्यायालयीन चौकशीस सामोरे जाणे, अनेक वर्ष बेरोजगार राहिल्यामुळे चांगली नोकरी मिळण्यामधे अडचण येणे असे काही ताणतणाव सातत्याने समोर येतात। व्यसनमुक्तीचा काळ देखील आव्हानात्मक भासु लागतो।

३. आपलेसे करण्यामधे विलंब: नशेच्या काळात सातत्याने विश्वास भंगल्याने नशा सोडल्यानंतर नातेवाईक रुग्णावर लगेच विश्वास ठेवत नाहीत याचाही कहीवेळा रुग्णांना त्रास होतो। या काळात असे वाटू लागते की, 'मी आता नशेपासून दूर आहे तरीही कोणी माझ्यावर विश्वास ठेवत नाही मग मी कशासाठी हा त्रास सहन करू ?' अशा वेळी इतरांना वेळ देणे आवश्यक आहे. आज मी जी मेहनत स्वतःला व्यसनमुक्त ठेवण्यासाठी घेतली आहे तीच मला भविष्यामधे फायदेशीर ठरणार आहे याचा मनात विश्वास धारावा।  

शीतल बिडकर 

Sunday, 31 August 2014

Why is Self regulation A Key of recovery.

Self-Regulation

The recovery rate among addicts is very poor all over the world. Various treatment models, different facilities during the treatment, culture-specific models of  treatment are facing the challenge of poor recovery rate. The disease of addiction is known for it's cunning, baffling, progressive nature. One of the reasons for the poor recovery rate is a lack of continuity or consistent motivation during recovery.  Here are some steps for self-Regulation.  Self-Regulation will help people to maintain a long-term abstinence period. The self-Regulation is a key of recovery. Regulating our own thoughts and behaviour will definitely increase the self-esteem and self-respect too. Recovery is a process so one need clarity about why they are seeking the way out from their addictive life? What are the desirable changes they are looking for? What are the motivating factors                                                                                     for recovery?

If you want to take charge of your recovery then here are few steps for you:

1. Self-determined goals: people most of the time start working with the ambiguous mind. The experimenting approach of people makes them less committed. Back of the mind, the thought of escaping from hard work make them feel secure.  If this doesn't work I will do XYZ .... before thinking about recovery one should confront own self to understand the significance of the decision. one of the most common motivation factors for abstinence is fear of death. Such people are only looking for detoxification and a safe place for some time. Once they feel they got the physical energy back then they don't mind discontinuing the treatment.  On the other hand, people who are in an early recovery phase don't mind using the half way home facilities provided by various rehabilitation centers.

2. Self-monitoring: patients they honestly start reporting their craving levels, mood swings, and other difficulties during the early abstinence period.  They also become more vigilant towards their self-talk and their thoughts etc. They ask for help if they observe any new or abnormal though or behaviour occurs.  Self-monitoring minimises the risk of relapse. People understands their triggers, high-risk situations etc.

3. Self-instructions: patients give selves instructions either loud or quietly to help guide actions. They appreciate themselves for taking right decisions or practicing relaxation methods or for avoiding arguments, reacting assertively etc. Self-instructions help the individual to achieve the desirable goals without getting distracted. It also works as a self-reward technique.

4. Self-evaluation: people judge the quality of their performance.  They are willing to analyse their behaviour objectively.  This the one of the most difficult phase in self-Regulation.  One need to work on own biases and need to improve the open mindedness in this phase. Self-evaluation makes people rational about their choices.

Thus, these four steps help patients to regularise their recovery.

Sheetal Bidkar