Aggravating Factors

Why are you drinking & creating hell every time? 

Why can't you behave normally? You have spoiled my life & kids as well.

Why you are giving false promises? Cheating all the family members.

Harita was shouting on top of her voice when her husband came home drunk. She was shouting, crying & confronting him. He simply went into his room drank more. Next day she was waiting for him to get up & answer her questions.

With a hangover he got up & was sitting restlessly, she again started posting questions. This time he irritably answered that I drink because of you & your insulting behaviour towards me etc. She was astonished, hurt & confused. She called me for an appointment.

Harita came to her first counselling session. She was not able to understand that is she really responsible for her husband’s increased drinking?  Her husband accused her many times earlier but this time it was horrifying her to consider even for a while that she might be responsible for his drinking.

I allow her to talk & educated her about the disease of addiction. We even discussed about the things she can do to come out of present situations. She was talking about her uncontrolled emotions, her impulsive behaviour, suspicious thoughts, anxiety for future, fear for uncertainty etc. How she is getting affected by her husband’s behaviour she was narrating. Her enabling behaviour was very evident.

Her behaviour was a spontaneous reaction to her husband’s intoxicated behaviour. Most of the time she uses to change her decisions about hospitalization, taking him to AA or admission in rehabilitation centre. She is even become submissive & will become depressed about the situations. There is no consistency in her reactions. No one is able to understand this; what exactly the message she is willing to give to her husband about this drinking.

Many times she has threatened him that she will file a case against him, she will give divorce or she will put him in mental asylum etc. She never did any of this till now; rather day by day her husband started using this behaviour as a reason for his drinking.

Ignoring his manipulations, giving him chances, clearing all the damages which he is creating outside for supporting his addiction, saving him form legal cases or assaults by paying money etc will definitely become aggravating factor for addiction. As all this above mention activities eats lot of time & not allow the family or patient to reach to treatment centre. Meanwhile the risk of damages increases. The tolerance level increases, physical damages become visible. Love, social reputation, fear of damages i.e. job loss, loss of academic year, payment loss, denial of problem are the main reasons for family to postpone the treatment. By wasting the time they only experience the progression of disease & damages.

Family, well wishers, friends are supposed to support recovery & not drinking. Everyone has to keep in mind that no one can be a reason for drinking but avoid being an aggravating factor also; who may directly or indirectly help an addict to continue drinking.

Sheetal  

मुखवटा

मुखवटा

ही कविता मुखवटा वापरणाऱ्या माझ्या रुग्णमित्रांचे वर्णन करणारी आहे.

मी सवरतना तो स्तब्ध् पाहतो
मी पडताना तो अचूक हेरतो


मी वर्तवितो हकीकत खोटी
आतून करितो तो मज आर्त विनवणी

मी लपतो अनेकदा त्याच्या पाठी
मग अनेक नव्या तो मांडतो अटी


मुखवटा माझाच हिणवतो मला
म्हणे.....  का वास्तवाची वाटे लाज तुला ?


जगासमोर मुखवटा चालतो
पण एकट्याने असता पुरता बोचतो


व्यसनाच्या हव्यासापाई  मुखवटा वापरला खरा
आता मात्र। ……  माझ्या चेहऱ्याची ओळखच विसरलो पुरता

मला कळेना मी कसा?
मुखवटा की आरसा खरा ???
मुखवटा की आरसा खरा ???



शीतल बीडकर 

ग्रामगीतेमधील व्यसनविषयीचे विचार- भाग 2

ग्रामगीतेच्या या पाठामधे व्यसनी लोकांची रहाणीमान दाखवले आहे.

उगीच करिती थाटमाट। कपाळी अत्तराचा मळवट। पावडर कंगवा आरसा चिरुट। खिशामाजी।।१०। 

एक विचार प्रणाली असही मानते कि व्यसन हा भावनांचा आणि विचारांचा आजार आहे. कही रुग्ण आपण खुप मोठे आहोत, खुप भव्य संपत्ती असल्याप्रमाणे ते महाग वस्तु खरेदी करतात, भले कर्ज बाजारी होतील पण तरिही फ़ूका पोकळ थाटमाट जपातील, त्यांना लागणाऱ्या आत्यंतिक गरजेच्या वस्तूंमधे त्यांच्या व्यसनसाठी लागणाऱ्या गोष्टींचाहि समावेश होतो। सामान्य व्यक्ती पावडर, कंगवा विसरत नाहीत तसे हे बाहदद्ऱ चिरुट, दारू विसरत नाहीत; व्यसनसाठीचा प्राधान्यक्रम ईथे दिसतो। व्यसनी किती अवलंबित असतात या पदार्थांवर हे दिसून येत. 

व्यसन तोंडाचे खोड़के करी। तेल लाविती वरचेवरी।केश फिरवोनि म्हणती साजरी।दिसतों आम्ही।।११। 

व्यसनाचे दिसून येणारे दुष्परिणाम आणि रुग्णामित्रांची हे दुष्परिणाम लपवण्याची धडपड येथे दिसते. अंगाचा थकवा लपवण्यासाठी उगच चांगली केशरचना करणे, पॉवडर लावणे वा आत खोल गेलेले गाल दिसू नयेत म्हणुन दाढी वाढवण, खोल गेलेले नयन झाकण्यासाठी गौगल लावण सुरु होत. ही तर माझी नवी स्टाईल! अस स्वतःला आणि इतरांना भसवण्याचे प्रयत्न सरु होतात। 

आंग निस्तेज जीर्ण झाले। खरूज गजकर्णादिके भरले। भारी कपडे घालोनी झाकीले। सौंदर्यासाठी।

हळु हळु व्यसनामुळे  शरीरातील रोगप्रतिकारक शक्ती कमालीची खालवते। अशावेळी रुग्णामित्र पूर्णतः निस्तेज दिसू लागतो। अन्न जात नाही, आतड्यांचे आजर सुरु होतात, अनेक नव्या आजारांना शरीर जाणू पूरक बनत, मग बाहेरून कितीही डागडुजी केली तरीं सौंदर्य कस बर दिसणार ?

चालताना पढती आढ़या। बोट लावता खाती तनघड़या। बाता करिती बड्या बड्या। आम्ही शौकीन म्हणोनि। 
बहुतेक वेळा व्यसनी व्यक्ती आपल्याला व्यसन नसून तो माझां शौक असल्याचे सांगते, जीवनात सर्व काही अस्ताव्यस्त असतानाही लोकांना बड्या बड्या गोष्टी सांगितल्या जातात। 
दिवसेंदिवस दारू पिण्याची क्षमता वाढते त्याचा परिणाम चलण्यावर, तब्येतीवर इतकच नाही तर भावना आणि विचारांवर सुद्धा ठळकपणे दिसु लागतो। या पुढच्या श्लोकात हेच परिणाम सांगितले आहेत।

रड्यासारखी निघते वाचा। औषधावाचूनि न होय शौच्या। बोटात आँगठया हिरकणीच्या। मिरवोनी काय ?

सतत नशेमधे असल्याने उच्चार स्पष्ट नसतात, नैसरगिक पणे  झोप येणें, पोट साफ़ होण जवळ जवळ बंदच होत, यासाठीसुद्धा व्यसनी व्यक्ती दारूचाच आधार घेते। 

हा पूर्ण पाठ अगदी मोजक्या शब्दात बहुतेक सर्व घटकांवर उजेड पडतो। 

TO BE OR NOT TO BE: What is the best time to stop drinking?

How true: the above mention quote is really touching isn’t it?

Many of my patients has a confusion in their minds about the right time to quit the drinking. Most of them argue that they want to come out of addiction but not now. I always post them the following question

What is the best time to stop drinking? 

My Answer is

TODAY: Right Now 

No matter how you are physically & mentally? How much you drink? How much you lost as a result of your addiction or using; think about the following points. I am sure it will help you to take a decision.

You may ask why right now? My answer is as below:

1.     Before you get permanent damages:  Think about the gifts or assets of yours you can still preserve. Many addicts they die before they get message of recovery, many addicts they are still suffering but not able to get the message of recovery and many addicts meet with the serious accidents & permanently become handicapped. Before one get the permanent damage it’s wise to come in to recovery/ Stop drinking & using.

2.     No Boundary for recovery: Most of the recovering people expresses that they are leading healthy life physically & emotionally too. If we compare addiction with other serious diseases the fact will come out. The fact is all serious diseases have a boundary to recover; like once you develop heart disease you cannot work rigorously, your physical heath does not allow you to do certain heavy jobs - rigorous exercise, climbing mountains, working physically hard, taking stressful jobs, thrill seeking activities etc. Mental illness also requires continuous efforts & medication still the patients experience the boundary of recovery. Some of the tasks remain difficult or impossible for them- Multi tasking etc.

But with recovering addicts there is absolutely no boundary for recovery,

They can lead a very healthy life without any physical or mental health issues.  

3.     Enjoy recovery more than suffering: The earlier one comes to recovery the more he gets the time to enjoy the recovery. Life is for limited years one need to choose that he wants to spend in the suffering or he want to come out of that and enjoy sober life.

Life doesn’t wait for anyone.  In short, longer the person remains addicted the less time they will have to enjoy sobriety.

4.     Not to hurt more: Longer the person remains in addiction; more they will get hurt people by their behaviour. Soon an addict will lose family, friends, well wishers etc. Value the people you have.  

5.     To Be or Not to Be: Only decision is not enough for recovery one need to act according to the decision. Come out Of this mind set of to be and not to be, don’t kill more time by being confuse. Ask yourself real hard questions & be action oriented. Remember, Logically no one can justify addiction or using.

feel free to give your views

Sheetal 

Adopting the Addiction Culture

One of the definitions of culture is the behaviours & beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic or age group: the youth culture; the drug culture.

It shows the social acceptance pattern of behaviour among a specific community. It also talks about the living hood of that society.

Being addict is a process. People slowly turned in the category of addict. The transformation of this phases passes through this phage called adapting the culture of addiction.

In simple words, people make some changes in their outward appearance & in the behaviour to fit in to the addicts group. 

I remember around 2007; a teenager was referred to me by the school. The complains was breaking rules, arguing with staff, bullying students, coming late in nights, hanging out with senor students, not receptive for suggestions etc.

2 yrs after that in 2009 the same case has come for counselling this time he was exhibiting different changes. He was significantly different than his Premorbid personality, he was wearing all dark cloths, long red & yellow coloured hairs, all right hand was with full of tattoos, no eye contact. Parents were complaining about drug (ganja) use.

2013 when I saw him, I realized drug use has changed him a lot. I was noting down my observations. Each time there was a significant change. He incorporated many new irrational beliefs in him. This time the shirt was sleeveless & buttons were open, big rings in all the fingers, was wearing Bermuda, some repetitive abnormal gestures like bending neck towards left side shoulder &   rubbing his nose with right thumb. He was wearing big white stone ear ring. I feel I am talking with the different person. Addiction has entirely changed him as a person. Some of his using friends were Nigerians.

He was just imitating their dressing pattern, tone & accent, gesture & reaction pattern too. This time complains were being physically aggressive, breaking articles, engaged in illegal activities etc. He was using all kind of drugs since morning to night. He was very apathetic towards family & was running away from home after assaults or stealing. Frequent accidents & hospitalizations were there during last year.

One can see the progression of the behavioural symptoms each time.

Over the period, he was struggling to fit into the culture of addiction. He was moulding himself according to his using friends, blindly imitating some of their behaviours like: dressing hairstyle, gestures etc.

 Many addicts admit that they consciously changed their language, dressing style, reaction pattern, eating patterns as a result of increased substance abuse. In order to fit in to the peer group, support addiction without money, escape from the guilt & shame of ding wrong one s this culture.

Adapting addition culture is red alarm which clearly indicates that the person needs long term treatment for substance abuse.

HOW TO IDENTIFY:

1.       Sudden change in friends

2.       Sudden change in dressing sense

3.       Demand resistance

4.       Opposite deviant behaviour

5.       Attention seeking  

6.       Breaking rules

7.       mood swings  

8.       Difficulty in managing money

9.       Manipulating behaviour

10.   Careless attitudes

Sheetal 

ग्रामगीतेमधील व्यसनविषयीचे विचार- भाग १

मला नेहमीच ग्रामगितेविषयी प्रचंड मोठ आकर्षण वाटत आलयं। खुप उघड्या डोळ्यांनी आणि खुप खुल्या विचारांनी ग्रामगीतेची रचना झाली आहे असे वाटते। माला कुतूहल होत की व्यसनबद्दल ग्रामगीतेमधे काय बर लिहीलाय? 

माझी शोधमोहीम सुरु झाली आणि मला जे समजल ते मी इथे मांडण्याचा प्रयत्न करते आहे. 

वैष-वैभव या ग्रामगीतेच्या सोळाव्या अध्यायामध्ये तुकडोजी महाराजांनी जी लक्षण सांगितली आहेत ती अशी. हा श्लोक व्यसनासाठी अनुकूल घटकांना स्पष्ट करतो। अनुकूल घटक म्हणजे बाळाचे पाळण्यात दिसणारे पाय. अशी लक्षण जी रोगाचे निदान करण्यापूर्वीच रोगीमध्ये दिसू लागतात।

स्वैराचार हीन विचार। राजस तामस आहार विहार। दिनचर्येत नाही ताळतंत्र। त्यांचे इहपर सुख नाशे। 
खरच ज्यांना स्वातंत्र आणि स्वैराचार यातली पुसत रेष कळत नाही त्यांच्यात प्रयोगशीलता वाढीस लगते। कुतूहल, मित्रांचा प्रभाव यामुळे आहार-विहार बदलतो। सहजच, रात्री उशिरा घरी येणे किंवा सकाळी उशिरा उठणे, कधीही जेवण कशाचाच नियम रहत नाही। मग अस असताना समाधानचा नाश होणे स्वाभाविकच आहे नाही का? 

चहा- चिवड़ा चिरकुटाचे दास। आपुल्या तनमनधनाचा नाश । करोनी बिघडवती जीवनास । गावच्यांच्याही 

जेव्हा माणस अधिक वेळ घराबाहेर राहु लागतात तेव्हा सिगारेट, दारू अश्याचे व्यसनी बनून स्वतःच्या जीवनाचा आणि पर्यायाने गावच्यांचाही आरोग्याचा नाश करतात 

किती खर आहे नाही? दोन साध्या ओळी आणि व्यसनापासून वाचण्याचे प्रतिबंधात्मक उपाय ओळखता येतील।  बाहेरच्या अनेक देशात वयोमानानुसार व्यसनासाठी अनुकूल असणाऱ्या घटकांची यादी करण्यासाठी अनेक वर्षांचे संशोधन सुरु आहे. मला मात्र या दोन ओळीतले शब्द अधिक बोलके वाटले।   

Deadly D’s: What keeps you stuck in the disease?

“There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn't true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.” 
Søren Kierkegaard

Few years back I decided to publish my research work, for that I was interviewing people with one or more substance dependence. Few of them were undergoing the treatment for almost for fourth or fifth time. However the liver reports or health condition is clearly showing the evidences of physical deterioration & unmanageability in important areas of life; many of them were still bend upon an irrational thought that they are not addicts. 

I was thinking about only one question

What is that keep addict stuck in the disease?

I started reading & collecting the information which can help me to solve this puzzle. I got the answer when I was studying about the self deception tendencies of addicts. 

We all want to defence ourselves from various physical or emotional threats. some of  us feels offense is the best defence, some of us feels prevention is better than cure; likewise an addict also wanted to protect himself by using the self defence techniques. 

Some may use rational techniques to protect the self image & some may use irrational as well. 

Some of the defensive techniques don’t help the addict to come out of the problem but it just gave a temporary relief from the threats he perceived. 

It’s hard for human being to accept & admit the defence. Once the addict starts experiencing the damages then this unhealthy defence mechanism comes in play to rescue. Addicts will eventually face harmful consequences & realities of disease.  This defence mechanism stopped working. An addict reaches to the following phases.

   Denial

   Detour

   Delay

   Dilemma

   Defeat

   Dry/Die

   Decision

I would like to discuss each one of them separately in this series of articles. I would like to discuss some of the relevant cases.  

Till then think on the pointsJ