It is often expressed by the parents that handling a child in a
digital era is very difficult. Education, entertainment, social connections and
even shopping is dependent on digital devices. We cannot deny that the use of internet
has indeed made our lives easy but at the same time excessive use of it is
showing its side effects as well. Most of us found that our kids on
smartphones, tabs, laptops, are using some screen time to engage themselves.
You might feel that your child is just physically present with you but he is preoccupied
with sharing, watching something, posting on social media and/or taking selfie.
Eye contact while conversing with you, mindfulness while eating, and emotional
involvement with the celebrations has now become rare to find. It is a very scary thought for a
parent to not have any control over what information is influencing their
child's mind, what kind of people he is engaging with on social media, how
productive are these long chats with friends and finally what is the child
watching on internet. Many parents report that they feel helpless, anxious and even
irritable about this. Let’s understand this dynamic concept in detail.
Who is a Digital Parent?
One who
either uses one or multiple digital platforms with their child as a parent can
be classified as a digital parent. It can be giving instructions via WhatsApp
or monitoring their child by video call, or following their child on social
media sites. These are all the forms that allow parents to connect, engage,
monitor and finally shape their kids as parents. It is important for us to
learn the new ways of parenting in digital era. We can appropriately call it as
digital parenting.
Significance of Digital parenting.
At young
age our kids are making many decisions about devices, games, apps they use and
so on. Today there are many apps different purposes like for potty training and
study skills videos, subject learning and study, cooking and day to day needs. As
a result, we as parent and every child is being attracted to use it often.
Even
before reaching to pre-schools kids are able to access the videos and songs.
Schools these days use the electronic educational aids, today blackboard is
missing and the projector has taken its place. Even homework and instructions are
being circulated by using the internet. Most of the parents do not attend
parent teacher meet or the cultural activities of their children as they prefer
to wave hand by accessing the video call and cheer the kid by sitting in their
AC offices. The kids are growing seeing the parents giving more importance to smartphones
than them.
And just
when you’ve mastered all that, the teen years come along with the onslaught of prominent
social media and social networking sites and other anonymous apps. Problematic
issues arise that range from sexting and cyberbullying to identifying theft and
simply spending too much time online.
Why is this dangerous:
A)
Smartphones
& internet use killing productive Time: Child can learn &
enjoy something productive instead of just scrolling the screen for hours.
Children & adults don’t even realise that the productive working hours are
being wasting time on daily basis. Time management has become so difficult
because of excessive use of internet.
B)
Cyber Bullying:
Social media has become a new platform for bullying. Comments on
posts, making fun of their photos, criticism on social media handle is
bothering the kids. Parents may not be aware of what the child is actually facing.
C)
Sexting
& Watching Porn: Many teenagers, Adults start interacting with people by chatting
and eventually they land up sexting each other. Sometimes these children through
general research may accidentally click on some pop ups and advertises which
may lead them to adult sites. Smartphones and internet availability has also
increased viewership of porn videos by 134% in the last one year.
D)
Online
Gambling & availability of illegal substances: Shopping online is
very comfortable as it provides the door step service but few of us are getting
hooked with the dealers who are selling illegal drugs & some are also experimenting
with gambling which is extremely addictive and can cause bankruptcy along with
psychological stress, job loss, family dysfunction etc.
What can a parent to do?
At Suasth
One Step Clinic, we tried to distil many years of work in this constantly
changing space to seven simple, but challenging steps to become a good digital
parent. It is definitely a journey, like parenting itself. And
there is no such thing as perfection.
Family
Online Safety institute has suggested the 7 Step prog as below:
1. Talk with your kids
It sounds
simple, but the number one indicator of good digital parenting is keeping an
open line of communication going with your kids. Talk early and
often. It is not like the birds and the bee’s discussion. It is
more like an ongoing dialogue that will move and shift as your child works his/her
way through several key developmental stages. Stay calm. Be open
and direct. But keep talking.
2. Educate yourself
This is
probably the first technology in human history where the children are leading
the adults. It is very humbling to have a seven year old explain how to
upload a video. Or your teen rolling his eyes once again as you try to
master Pandora. But there is a wealth of tips, videos, explanations and
guides out there. If in doubt, simply type in your question or concern in
your favourite search engine and there will be more than enough information available
to you.
3. Use parental controls
It goes
without saying that there is content on the Internet you don’t want your kids
stumbling upon. All of the major operating systems, search engines, cell
phone providers and gaming platforms provide either free or inexpensive
parental controls to help you manage your kids online experience. And, as
your kids get older, move from controls to monitoring tools, particularly
around time limits to discourage texting in class or vamping late at
night.
4. Set ground rules & apply
sanctions
Many
parents don’t know where to start in creating rules of the road for their children’s
digital use. But there are many online safety contracts to choose from as
well as simple house rules such as NO DEVICES at dinner and handing in their
phones at night. Once you’ve set the rules, enforce them. Let your
kids know that they will lose online privileges if they break the rules and be
clear and consistent about what those sanctions will be.
5. Friend and follow, but
don’t stalk
When your
teen opens her social media account at 13, ensure you’re his/her first
friend. Follow your kids on their social handle and other social media
and social networking platforms. Don’t overdo it and leave daily
comments, but don’t under do it either. It’s a good idea to stay close as
your teen makes his/ her first foray into the world of social media. But
don’t be tempted to spy on your kids, either. Talking instead than stalking
is what builds trust. Give your teen some space to experiment, to take
(healthy) risks and to build resiliency.
6. Explore, share and
celebrate!
With the
rules and tools in place, don’t forget to just go online with your kids.
Play games, watch videos, share photos and generally hang out with your
children online. Learn from them and have fun. Share your favourite
sites and download their apps. See the world through their eyes.
And let them know your values and beliefs as you guide them on their way.
7. Be a good digital role
model
Be the
change you want to see in your kids. Resist the temptation to pull out
your phone to check your email over dinner or send a quick text while
driving. Keep an eye on your own digital habits and compulsions and model
good digital behaviour and balance. Your kids will pay far more attention
to what you do, than to what you say – both online and offline.
